which came first the audience or the artist?

We recorded it. We edited it. And now it’s done. We made a podcast.

It’s all really odd.

I’m so happy with how it turned out, and am so excited with how we can make it better. It all feels like it’s possible - not some strange unknowable, unobtainable state of being. And that’s exciting.

Playing the game was fun.

After a spell.

In the beginning it was a little dry as a lot of first sessions can be. Players are finding their characters. GMs are feeling out their players. It’s a fumbling kind of dance as everyone discovers one an another, even if you’ve played with each other many times before. I think it took us only about 30 minutes before we found where we wanted to go, and not long after that we started to boogie.

And that is when it was all worth it.

Now for the awkward part. The “it’s not just a game but a product” part. The “now we have to build an audience” part.

We’re starting at… zero. And that’s okay. I’m a theatre actor. I’ve performed for long established companies who could only muster three ticket sales. Gotta swallow a lot of pride when the cast outnumbers its audience. But I never had much problem with the small shows because I knew that whoever was watching had bought a ticket, got in a car, fought traffic, found parking, and put in a host of other efforts to watch me play act for two hours. I owed them a show. And besides, I loved what I was doing, which made it even easier.

I think we can say posting a podcast in the void of the internet for 6 listeners, when they can easily consume an infinite amount of other content, doesn’t deflate my tires in the slightest.

But I do want to grow. I have to be clear about that. I don’t want to be phony about it and tell you “the work is its own reward.” And it absolutely is rewarding, which is why I want to do it, but you know as much as I do, dear reader, it’s a lot harder to do something if it doesn’t pay the bills.

So how do we grow without constantly checking our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc? Without a comments section on the youtube video to help drive it up the algorithm?

The work. That’s all we’ve got and all we can give and that will just have to do it.

We didn’t have much of a social media presence before we started, and I doubt we’ll ever have much of one after. It’s just not something either Gail and I are particularly interested in, and we’re not asking people to engage with us there. I know all the reasons for doing it, but truly, I only have so much energy and I want it to go to where I’m at my best – and it’s not posting witticisms on Twitter, or slammin’ selfies on Instagram. It’s writing. It’s running the game. It’s performing. It’s talking about stories from movies, and comics, and wherever else we find ‘em. That’s what I signed up for.

And honestly, it was going to be an uphill battle either way. You can’t magically post a bunch of bullshit on Twitter and have a million followers who’ll listen to your actual play podcast. I mean… sure it may have been done, but the litany of other podcasts out there will tell you that’s the exception not the rule.Periodically I’ll write a “dear diary” post like one of these, or do a live stream on Twitch where we’re chatting about the show, but that’s as interactive as it’ll probably get. At least for the time being. I may be an actor, but that doesn’t mean I’m particularly extroverted. Being social is exhausting.

I just feel it in my guts that if we do this our way we’ll be a lot happier, even if it’s just for 6 people.

And if we do it as well as I know we can, it won’t stay 6 for long.

-jae